25 Feb 2008

Over the weekends, yes I do continue to read and spent time with God, but something inside me just ask me to stop.

I have not been praying or at least not been spending time on my knees in prayer.

There is a sense of weakness in me that I feel that I need to come back to God for His forgiveness. I have depended on my own strength in a lot of matters and in defiance, refuse to submit to God.

God will provides and I knew that, but I just feel the shortchange and I feel that I need to couple with my our effort to speed up what I have lost. I know that in such a process, I have treading into danger ground and it permits Satan a hold on me. I need to realease that. I want to claim His promise that I will one day soar with Him like eagles. I need to let God and instead of rooted in my our plans and scheme, I need to entrust in Him, so that I can have the wings to soar.

I need a radical re-orientation. I need to take stock. There is no condemnation for those who is in Christ. I need to let go and I need to stop, but yet allow God to minister to me. Forgive me.

The more I stay at the current day job I feel more entrenched to sins. Knowing I am not going to lead anywhere, I take deceisions into my own hand, in order to boast an once of my own ego and in doing so, I don't feel lifted up, but I feel that at times, I have fallen short of God's grace. Should I leave and be free form "Egypt"? When?

I need and I want to trust in you, that when I leave "Egypt" you will provide, just as you have provide for the Israelites. Your love endures forever.

Bless my hand, but let not pride take over me. I pray that the sucess you give me, I can boost in you and I can give all hounour and all glory back to you. It is not me - because I do not control the market. Let the work and the success in forex not boost the ego I lost in my current day job. Let my boosting be in my weakness that I can see the strength and the work of God in me.

I pray that during this time and even before the breakthrough weekend, I can find my breakthrough. Let me earnestly seek you and in prayer. Those things that need to be broken, deal with them, break then if you need to do a deeper work in me.

Lord,I live only once, naked I come, naked will I go. Let the vision you gave me come alive once more and that I will remember it. Work through me to fulfil it, not for me for for your name sake. Amen